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Think Outside the Tux
Pam Witzig
Okay, you want the tux. And the gown. Then you must have them. We’re
just going to consider for a few moments how this most special event can
become truly your own unique celebration. One you will always cherish
and which also will reflect your individuality.
For example, you may want the traditional attire but an exceptional
reception that is unlike any you have attended. Or you may prefer the
very traditional reception but be inclined to save money on the
ceremony. You might even want both to be very elaborate and still very
unique. Perhaps a simple ceremony for close family and then one
outrageous bash that includes friends and coworkers follows. How might
you express an “elegant casual“ ceremony with attire and decor? There
are so many ways to accomplish an event that will suit indivudual
personalities. Here are some stretching exercises; mental gymnastics for
your special event. First, consider your goals:
Is it a priority to save money?
Maybe you would prefer to use funds parents will invest for a fabulous
honeymoon or the down-payment on a house. What are the possibilities?
You can absolutely have an elegant wedding and reception by:
- Using lots of candles (fewer flowers) and low lights for a glowing
sanctuary and reception hall.
- Having a single fresh-cut flower at each place setting makes as
beautiful a statement as do large expensive bouquets.
- Remember balloons and crepe paper? They are
very festive when done well and used tastefully. Two 7-balloon
bouquets will cost around $10.
- You have heard the phrase “less is
more.“ It can apply to wedding attendants apparel and to flowers
- What if the altar was dressed with, not fresh
or silk flowers, but something of use to you both later?
Is it important to you that the event
express your personalities?
- A couple fond of a particular era can
“decorate“ themselves and the celebration environments in medieval,
art deco (flapper/zoot suit), big band/dance theme, etc.
- Two who met under circumstances that are
unusual or particularly romantic might play that up in constructing
the event.
- Those who share a passion or hobby might bring
it out as part of the celebration. Theatre buffs, gardening fanatics,
snow-skiiers, musicians, enthusisasts for whatever can have fun
weaving their shared passions into the event that is to be a statement
of their union.
- Employ in the ceremony and reception, items
which will beautify the event and then, rather than wilt and die, will
adorn your home afterward.
How can you honor those who have
passed but who you long to be part of the ceremony?
Perhaps you have special memories of a grandparent. You can wear
something they owned for the ceremony, quote a lesson learned or include
a brief anecdote at the reception. Have you lost a parent? Light a
candle during the ceremony as a remembrance, include a significant song,
use his/her ring, etc.
What about location?
When your church is very important to you, it’s a given. For those not
active in churches, it can be awkward acquiring one. Will you marry in a
city where options might include an awesome old train station that has
been converted for other use and may be leased after hours? What great
buildings are in the wedding city? Is there a fabulous hotel, ballroom,
or hall where the ceremony and reception might take place under one
roof? Maybe there is a great piece of architecture that now houses a
not-for-profit entity which could use your donation for its use. Does a
family member have a terrific piece of land for an outdoor wedding? Is
the place you met a possibility? A park? How about a zoo for the animal
enthusiasts? What do you consider a romantic setting? Be creative.
Try to address your particular challenges early in the planning stage.
For example, do one or both of you now have two sets of parents? Boy,
can that be touchy! Discuss and plan for it early in order to include
everyone comfortably.
Whatever you do, don’t let this become the stressful event too many
create under these circumstances. It is too important. Kick back, smile
and dream your ideal celebration. Do it together: spend some time
brainstorming how you might make the event unique to the two of you.
Exercise some “tornado“ and “mapping“ thinking with your spouse to be.
There are two of you joining in this commitment. It will be so much more
fun and relaxing for you both. Give yourselves opportunity to enjoy the
process thoroughly. When the day finally arrives, I guarantee it will be
a blur! So give yourseslves opportunity to enjoy the process as you will
the event, and especially the pictures later when you have
custom-designed your dream wedding.
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